For ten seasons now the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia have been spitting out the most vulgar, outlandish, and utterly hysterical one-liners on television. As a result, it was a difficult task to choose just ten of the best quotes from the series as it’s progressed so far. However, these ten quotes are the ones that make me laugh out loud no matter how many times I hear them or read them–this is my list for the top ten quotes from the gang.
#10). “Hey-o! What’s up, bitches?!” -Mac
#9). “Later, boners.” -Sweet Dee
#8). “Later, dudes. S you in your A’s, don’t wear a C and J all over your B’s.” -Charlie
#7). “See you later, Dirt Grub and Ronnie the Rat. Hope you suck each other’s rotten peckers until you get mouth cancer.” -Sweet Dee
#6). “You gotta pay the troll toll, if you wanna get into that boy’s soul.” -Frank
#5). “Name’s Artemis. I have a bleached asshole.” -Artemis
#4). “I will eat your babies, bitch!” -Sweet Dee
#3). “Your mom doesn’t know dick! She’s a dumb, fat cow. And your sister, she’s a stupid little shit-mouthed bitch, isn’t she?” -Sweet Dee
#2). Mac, you have an exceptional number of bugs in your teeth. You’re gonna wanna rinse those out. It’s disgusting. -Dennis
#1). Mac, I’m gonna stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion. Secondly, I know you’re trying to manipulate me, and it’s not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder, because I’ve got a fatty to burn. -Sweet Dee
Like I said, this was incredibly hard due to the plethora of quotes to choose from. So, just because I didn’t want to leave out some of my other favorites, here is a list of honorable mentions.
- “I’m a…full-on rapist, you know? Uh, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.” -Charlie
- “I eat stickers all the time, dude!” -Charlie
- “Hi. Um, I’m a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I’d like some welfare, please.” -Dennis
- “Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?!” -Charlie
- “I’m not fat. I’m cultivating mass.” -Fat Mac
- “Dee, don’t be ridiculous…think of the smell. YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF THE SMELL, YOU BITCH! Now you say another word and I swear to god I will dice you into a million little pieces…and put those pieces in a box, a glass box, that I will display on my mantle.” – Dennis
Agree or disagree with my list? Leave me a comment and let me know what your favorite quotes are from the show, and see if they made my list of top-ten picks.